This month, I have decided to deactivate my social media accounts for 30 days. My intention for this action is to refocus my time and energy towards other goals/activities I have pushed to the side.
So last night, instead of scrolling through Instagram and Facebook, I read a chapter from a book I have been reading for the last 2 months, Songs of Solomon by Toni Morrison. Within this chapter, Milkman is talking about his sister Corinthians. She is a college-education woman that has never had to want for anything. Now in her 40s, she is unmarried with no children and has just acquired a job as a maid. This is extremely odd due to her upbringing, but it has given her a sense of freedom she has never had. Like many women back in her day from well-off families, her parents dreamt she would marry a doctor or lawyer, but that never was the case and Toni Morrison perfectly explains why:
“She was pretty enough, pleasant enough, and her father has the money they could rely on if needed, but she lacked drive. These men wanted wives who could manage, who were not so well accustomed to middle-class life that they had no ambition, no hunger, no hustle in them. They wanted their wives to like the climbing, the acquiring, and the work it took to maintain status once it was achieved. They wanted wives who would sacrifice themselves and appreciate the hard work and sacrifice of their husbands.”
And BAM! These four sentences hit me like a ton of bricks. In that very moment, I knew this was why I don’t have my ideal man. I lack drive. I lack purpose.
In no way, shape, or form is my dream guy a doctor or lawyer, but he does have drive. How can I want this of a man and don’t fully have it for myself? So I am adding this to my list of things to do within the next 29 days. FIND YOUR DRIVE!