You meant “I” right?
It is inevitable that after a break up your mind starts racing with questions that at the moment need answers. But that is not the case.What needs to happen is for you to self-reflect and take responsibility for your actions alone.
When your partner brought up that they were unhappy with the relationship or communicated something they didn’t like, did you put forth the effort to change? We all fall off the bandwagon from time to time. But when you told your partner you were going to try, did you change for awhile and then stopped all of a sudden?
What you showed your partner is that you lack consistency and accountability. This is vital for any relationship to work. One of my favorite quotes is, “Most people listen with the intent to reply versus the intent to understand.” This is true when it comes to the downfall of relationships. All those times you and your partner had disagreements/arguments “what you did wrong” was brought up, but you weren’t listening. More than likely, you were on the defensive end regurgitating their faults and wrong doings.
Isn’t it ironic how you need understanding (Oops! I meant closure) after the fact?