Should There be a Balance Between Your Friendships and Your Relationship With Your Significant Other?

Male Perspective #1: “While I understand the importance of your relationship, I think it’s just as important to maintain the relationships you have with people BEFORE you met your S.O. Loyalty to others is just as important as it is to your wife/husband. All we have is our word. I think people forget that. I think women tend to rely too much on their man to fill this social vacuum they’ve created by eliminating old friends because they got a man now. Now your man has to fill all the spots that you has multiple friends for. How can one man wear that many hats?”

Female Perspective # 1: “There should definitely be a BALANCE! Being in a relationship should add to your life and not necessarily change it.”

Male Perspective #2: “Ooooh! That’s a good one. Your significant other must always come first, but the balance between friendships and relationships depends on the understanding of your relationship. For instance, if a husband or wife has structured their lives to be dependent on the circle of friends as far as going out, talking or just functioning in their everyday lives, then that structure is still needed once they get married or in a relationship. In very few cases does that structure of friendship just stop and when it does, there is always a void that is left and it affects the relationship. I feel that the friends and I mean the good friends that have a positive influence is needed to balance the relationship. I reiterate that the spouse should also be first, but learning the perfect balance of the friends with your relationship depends on experience and the understanding between the person and their mate.”

Female Perspective # 2: “Your significant other comes first. However, one should make time for friends. This creates balance in your life as well as the opportunity to enjoy other outside interests. Give your mate a chance to miss you. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Male Perspective #3: ” It’s a common practice for relationships and friendships to have different rules, some believe that friendships come first, and others believe that relationships do. The truth is, your relationship is a friendship that’s been graduated, and your friendships shouldn’t be at the same level, not even close.”

Female Perspective # 3: “I think it’s an ongoing balancing act between the two. Especially when it comes to marriage. Which in that case the spouse comes first. No easy answer to that question. Take for example a couple who both individuals have large circle of friends vs a couple where one has a large circle and the other didn’t. Envy, jealousy, loneliness can creep in when one person is not used to the other one being out and about. Communication is key. But some people try to be a double standard like they can go out but the other person can’t. It gets crazy some time. Between work and school, it’s hard enough for a couple to just hang out. That’s dependent on if they live together or not which is a whole other thing. Nowadays, people have to allocate boo time like a date night etc. A balance would be allocating girls or guys nights too. And!!! Communicate those with your significant other…nothing like double booking and having to choose. All goes back to communicating.”

Male Perspective #4: “There is a balance. But most of all, there is a respect that creates the balance. Some friendships can’t remain the same because the respect for the significant other because if the differential in time spent/knowing each other. Giving a ultimatum to choose between one or the other.”

Female Perspective # 4: “I think a balance, but you should consider the situation. I wouldn’t want my man putting his friends before me unless it’s a situation of death, birth, divorce, depression or something serious.”

Male Perspective #5: “There needs to be a balance. No one should have to feel obligated to be with their s/o 24/7. Nobody wants to feel smothered by their relationship. So both people should have their own friends and things they do separate from each other.”

Female Perspective # 5: “There should be balance. I think  most importantly there should be a balance between what you want and what’s best for your relationship. That might not always be your friends. It could just be alone time, but there is no way you should do any and everything with your mate. The relationship is absolutely priority, but so are you. In terms of friends, sometimes they give you shit for doing everything or prioritizing your relationship. It’s not wise to listen to them either. They’ll fuck around and have you single. If you want to chill with your boo then dammit do it. (LOL) It’s a lot involved (LOL) but the most important part I think is to not allow yourself to be so caught up in love and your relationship that you lose sight of you.”

Male Perspective #6: “There should be a balance if the relationship is going to be a successful one.”

Female Perspective # 6: “There should be a balance between friendships and a relationship with a significant other and all other relationships for that matter. Balancing relationships is a part of being an adult. If this is understood and the expectation at the beginning, one would never be in a position where they would have to choose who comes first. I’m not married, but I believe that a spouse comes before all because they are the person you’ve agreed to be on teams with for life. Friends should understand and respect this position. Furthermore, you should only build relationships who have the same values and agendas that you do in regards to relationship matrices with people.”

So… should there be a balance between your friendships and S.O.?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s